A Catholic View on Taylor Frankie Paul and Secret Lives of Mormon Wives

I don’t even know what made me press play when that first season was released.

Maybe it was because I was already familiar with Taylor Frankie Paul’s social media presence. Maybe I was curious how these particular Mormon women justified some of their behavior. Or maybe it was just plain curiosity into a world that feels so utterly foreign to me. Whatever the reason, I was hooked after the first two episodes.

If you’ve never watched Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, or you couldn’t care less about any of the drama surrounding The Bachelorette, feel free to go about your day. But if you, like me, are even a little bit invested in everything unfolding… get comfy and grab a soda.

Redemption, healing, and salvation are at the very heart of our faith. The reality that we can fall into serious sin, become slaves to our desires, feel completely lost, and yet still have hope in Christ? That’s the Gospel! That's the Good News! The wages of sin is death. Without Christ, we reap what we sow. And yet, Christ comes to save the lost, to free us from addiction and break our bondage to sin.

It’s clear from the very first episode of Season 1 that Taylor is deeply, deeply lost. She places her relationship with Dakota above her children, leans into partying and drinking, and almost embraces this “bad girl” identity. The only thing she really seems to fear is judgment.

Then everything changes.

After a night of drinking, she and Dakota get into a fight. A chair is thrown. Her child is accidentally hurt. There’s an arrest. And it's a major wake-up call.

And to her credit, she responds. She stops drinking. She goes to therapy. She begins to turn her life around. The work she puts in is genuinely admirable. Even though she still has rough edges, you start to see wisdom emerge. There are moments where she clearly knows how to say no, where she recognizes what isn’t good for her. It’s proof that even at our worst, we don’t have to stay there.

But here’s where it gets complicated.

She starts down the path toward redemption but stops short of it.

“I was trash!” she says through tears to her parents. And the heartbreaking part is you can tell she believes it.

Taylor recognizes that her behavior was destructive. She stops flaunting it. She even rejects parts of it. But she never fully steps into true redemption. And that’s why we keep seeing her return to Dakota. Because she’s still searching, grasping, for someone to tell her she’s good after everything she’s done. Someone to convince her she’s worthy. And Dakota, in his own brokenness, is willing to say or do whatever keeps pulling her back.

By Season 4, their relationship is still this exhausting back-and-forth. They’re not together, but she’s still affected by everything he does. There’s jealousy and attachment and possessiveness. And all of it seems to orbit around one unspoken question:

Am I enough?

At one point, Taylor is preparing to become the new Bachelorette, literally about to date 30 men at once. And yet she can’t seem to leave Dakota behind. Why? Because that question hasn’t been answered. And it never will be. Not by Dakota, not by 30 men, not by any relationship. As Miranda says, Taylor is looking for a man to fill something no man can fill.

Her mom and friends encourage her to see the Bachelorette through in order to get away from Dakota. And you can tell they mean well. But a new relationship isn’t the solution. Whether its Dakota or Doug or Tate or Chase or any man, none of them can be for her what she needs, which is a savior who sees every bit of her brokenness, and loves her enough to die for her. And not only die for her, but to send His spirit to heal her and build her back up. To make her whole and holy, to give her peace.

No, more attention from other men won’t heal a wounded heart. Only Christ can do that.

So what would redemption actually look like for Taylor? Certainly, recognizing the self-destructive pattern is a step. The next step might be also recognizing how her destructive behaviors affect not only herself, but her family and friends.

Ultimately, it's giving her life to Christ and letting Him do the heavy lifting. Not hiding the brokenness. Not managing it. Not pretending it’s not there. But bringing it fully before the Lord and saying: “This is what I have. It’s messy. It’s painful. I can’t fix it. Please take it, heal it, and make it whole.”

Not just turning the page, but ripping it out and handing it to Him.

“Look at this. Even this. You can do something with it.”

Because the truth is she’s not trash. She’s deeply loved by the Father, and has infinite worth. Even when she acts beneath her dignity, that dignity is never taken away. Her worth doesn’t disappear. Her identity isn’t erased. And that’s the kind of love she’s actually searching for.

From what’s been circulating online, it looks like Taylor briefly got engaged during The Bachelorette, then returned to Dakota, followed by another altercation involving the police.

It's sad that another person got pulled into the cycle. More hurt. More instability.

For the sake of her children, and for the sake of her soul, I truly hope she finds what she’s looking for. What her heart is truly searching for can't be found in another relationship, but in the kind of love that doesn’t waver, doesn’t manipulate, doesn’t leave.

A love that comes straight from the heart of the Father and is strong enough to heal even the most broken places.